We want to thank each and every one of you for your overwhelming support, your love, your constant positive thoughts and prayers for our Eli. Please continue to pray for Eli as he begins his road to FULL recovery from his traumatic brain injury. He WILL recover. Thank you for renewing my faith in God, the Almighty. Eli is alive; he is a miracle because of our collective hope and faith. No words can ever express our gratitude.

This is our Eli. He is meant to be on this earth to do great things. I’ve always known that about him; I just knew. He’s not your average young man. He’s super smart, extremely loyal to his best friends, and has very firm beliefs and ideals of how to make this world a better place. He has always been ahead of his time, with very articulate speech that I don’t even understand sometimes. He can be a bit sarcastic, well, maybe a lot sarcastic, but he knows that, ha ha. He’s a good, very hard-working young man who wants to fix everything wrong in this world who is in the fight of his life right now. Eli and Jacob are the lights of our lives.

Saturday, March, 20, 2021 – The Phone Call

There’s that phone call that no parent ever wants to get, ever. We got that call this past weekend. Our oldest son was at a hospital somewhere in Minneapolis. Dwayne works a night job, so I answered the call at 3am. All I remember is that I saw Hennepin County calling… The charge nurse was very articulate. She asked me if I was Eli Wurster’s mom, explained quickly (and rather blatently) that he had fallen three stories, and with urgency in her voice, asked for verbal permission for Eli to have emergency brain surgery. Pretty sure I screamed yes.

I found myself in the hallway talking – rather loudly – to the nurse, only to look into our younger son’s room. Jacob was silent, but awake, pretending to look at his phone. I won’t ever forget his face that night. He knew something was very wrong.

I waited for Dwayne to come home wondering how the hell I’m supposed to tell him what happened to Eli. The charge nurse had called me several times already. It was so incredibly surreal. Was I half-awake? Was this a nightmare? Or was this a reality that was happening to my little family? Sadly, the latter was the truth. The nurse told me to pack some things. I remember pondering that request. Did we really have to go to Minnesota? Now, in the middle of the night?! At the time it sounded absurd to me.

I didn’t want to call Dwayne while he was driving home, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I don’t remember much of that conversation, only that he said he was close to home. I had written the charge nurse’s name and number down so that Dwayne could call her when he got home. Looking back, I don’t really think I believed her, or perhaps didn’t want to, so I needed my husband to call her – to make sense of these devastating phone calls that I’d just had about my first-born son.

It was true; Eli was going into surgery – for a craniotomy! We contemplated (for a whole five minutes) flying or driving to Minnesota. I stared at my husband in a weird state of mind and said, “I don’t think I can book a flight right now… we just need to get in the car and go.” What do we do with Jacob? We walked around aimlessly, throwing things into a suitcase. I guess I assumed Jacob would come with as I found a pair of his jeans and underwear in the suitcase later on. Something made me reach into my nightstand and grab my Bible that my parents gave me when I was Confirmed and one of my favorite pictures of Eli. The next thing we knew we were driving, at 4am, to Minnesota. We decided to leave Jacob at home, which although was the right decision, was very hard to leave him behind not knowing when we’d be back or what was happening. Both my boys are strong and are fighters; I know this.

Saturday, March 20, 2021 – The Quiet Drive to Minnesota

This drive to Minneapolis was not like any other drives we had previously driven. This time Dwayne and I drove in complete silence. No radio, no talking, no noise. What would we see when we got there? How was his brain surgery going? Stop. My son was having brain surgery. Who the hell has to wonder how their son’s brain surgery was going while driving five and a half hours? A select few of us, I guess. Would Jacob be okay by himself the rest of the night? Other questions crept into my mind, but I forced myself to push them away instantly as to not focus on the negative, only positive thoughts for our Eli.

Dwayne pushed the pedal over 90 miles an hour at times. I tried not to look at the gauge like I usually do, complaining that he’s going too fast. Maybe I did a few times, but it wouldn’t have made a difference. He needed to get to his son.

I know now that I was in shock, trying to comprehend what had happened, what was happening at the time and why, but it never seemed real. I started praying for Eli at home before we left; I didn’t know what else to do. Somewhere in Wisconsin Dwayne stopped for gas and I texted my best friend that I needed prayers for Eli. I shared with her the only details I knew. She called me immediately. I have no idea what I said, all I remember is that she stopped me and said “Merry, we’re going to pray right now.” And we did. I’m not sure I could have gotten through the rest of the drive without that prayer.

I knew I needed to call my family, but I still couldn’t wrap my head around what was happening. I believe one or two of the Neurosurgeons called on the way to alert us that surgery was finished and it had gone very well. Relief? Yes! But I’m not convinced that either of us felt anything at that point. Dwayne just kept driving.

March 2021 was Eli’s sophomore year at the U, so this is a drive we’d done many times – especially because of Covid. Dwayne didn’t have as much time as myself to take off so I often drove it alone. First few times I was nervous (not good at directions and often get lost) but the more I drove it, the more I absolutely loved that time. If I was heading to pick E up, I’d fill the car with my eclectic loud music incorporating some weird dance moves that I’m sure passing cars rolled their eyes at, all accompanied by some great harmony by me as well as horrible crackling pitches that often prompted me to halt my singing… and perhaps start the whole song over.

On the way back to Illinois with Eli I usually drove first, got us out of Minneapolis and we’d chat a bit to catch up – Mom’s time to hone-in on what’s going on lol. It’s okay though; E and I have this relationship that is very special. He’s pretty darn open with me (as much as a boy can be) and I’m so forever grateful for those conversations about life, where his life is headed, and yes even politics – Eli has a way of speaking about politics that makes sense to me – no matter what side you are on. I have my own beliefs and he his own – but we agree on a lot, should there really be two parties/sides? Humans should be working together is what we converse about, but that’s a story for another day. We often listened to Eli’s songs –  because he would just take over the tunes! Those were our wonderful Minnesota drives… until the devastatingly quiet drive on March 20^th, 2021.

The HOBIT Lady

Back to reality. My phone rang in the car. It was a Minneapolis number, so I answered quickly. A woman introduced herself and started talking about something called the HOBIT trial. I had no idea what that was or why she was calling me. She called a few times – I still couldn’t process what she was saying. I think I reiterated it to Dwayne, but it all seemed so surreal. It was some “trial” – that’s what I got out of it. Who cares about a trial – stop calling me, is what I wanted to say out loud, but being the reserved person I am, I didn’t. I agreed to reading the emails and consents she was going to send me – some hyperbaric thing, going below sea-level, infusing oxygen… Ok. I’ll just email you back whatever you want if I can figure out how to read, sign and email back while in a bizarre state of mind as my husband drives 100 miles an hour. Sure, I’ll do it.

APPROACHING HUDSON

My favorite part of the drive to Minneapolis is approaching Hudson. The roads begin to incline, you see some bluffs, then cross this river which you can see on both sides with beautiful views! The sun is usually shining (Minnesota has more sunshine than Illinois – perhaps one of the many reasons I love being in this state), and as we cross this river I know I’m close to seeing my E. I usually have the music blaring, windows down (depending on the season) and have a smile across my aging face that makes the aging disappear. Until the time we approached Hudson that early morning.

During one of the calls, the HOBIT lady mentioned that they hadn’t actually identified Eli – OMG, maybe it wasn’t our son??!!! Stop. But it was someone’s son. What is a mother supposed to do with that information.

HCMC

I’m writing this on April 10, 2022 – more than a year out from E’s accident. I have notes from a year ago, but it’s hard to revisit them. My original intention was to keep updating his progress, but these particular memories of when we first arrived at HCMC are by far the most difficult to express. I have notes jotted down, but the emotional aspect has been too hard to post, still.

All the hopes and prayers have carried us through this past year; I’m finally ready to release some vulnerable moments – at least I think I am, or perhaps not. I know it’s cathartic for me to write; me and E love to write. I still have to dig deep, feel emotions I don’t want to, and cry and laugh because sometimes you have no other choice. Then I search for hope, love and faith.

Sidenote: E is a phenomenal writer so much so that he will help change the world in his own way. Guess it will still take time for me to fill in this part of his journey.

It’s January 26th, 2024. Sometimes I revisit this blog – I’m not sure why. Because Eli is home now and lives with us. He didn’t get to graduate as he’d (wished/wanted/would have given anything for). Going to college was the only thing he ever wanted to do… from about the age of 8! He loved to learn, soaked it up, craved more. Maybe that’s why I open the first page to this blog I wrote three years ago from time to time. To remind me of his progress and that he’s alive. He survived. But it’s taken a toll, on all of us.

MY ACCOUNT OF MY FIRST ENTRY INTO HCMC – Three years later still embedded in my mind lies almost every detail. Some memories are fuzzy, some clear, some horrific, some with jubilation I’d never felt before.

The one-way streets, turning this way, then that – it made it seem the world was spinning uncontrollably. The HOBIT lady advised us during our drive that only one of us would be able to see Eli once we arrived. WTF! Fuck Covid. Because she had been conversing with me, she suggested that Dwayne drop me off and wait while I go inside the hospital. Ok. I do what she says – on effing auto pilot at that time so we listen and do what they tell us to do. Easy for them to say – Dwayne pulled up in the half round-about entrance to this Minneapolis hospital where we’ve never been. Little did we know we’d pull up to this waiting area many times. All I could do is open the door and get out. Seems simple, but it wasn’t. This is where my child is? A strange city? I’m not a city person – Where do I go, what do I do? I can’t even hold my husband’s hand as I try to navigate the revolving door. It’s me, on my own putting one foot in front of the other. Strangers stood outside the doors, some smoking cigarettes, some just sitting still, some rambled about with tired faces. Would that be me? What was I going to encounter – looking back, it didn’t matter. I needed to see my Eli.

THE SECURITY OFFICER:

Once I managed to push the door open, I stood still. Yes, the room was now in fact spinning, beyond control. I truly didn’t know where to go or what to do. Bizarre is all I can say. People with tags jiggling on their scrubs rushed past me. I felt the eyes of strangers staring at me, cold stares with not one offering of help. One foot in front of the other, Merry, keep going until you find Eli is what my spirit kept telling me. Every space was compartmentalized into smaller “rooms” due to Covid. It reeked of unorganized chaos. There was a large rounded desk which with a gentleman behind the desk wearing white with several patches on, like a Security Officer would wear. I gravitated toward him… walking slower than a snails pace. This part I’m not clear on as I have no clue what words I uttered. I assume I told him my son was here and gave him his name, Eli Wurster. The officer was confused. He kept checking his computer. Sorry M’amm - no one here by that name. WTF is what I’m sure my scattered mind wanted to shout. Somehow I recalled the fake name that the HOBIT lady gave Dwayne when he spoke to her in the car. It was a name to tell security because Eli’s identity wasn’t yet confirmed; he had no ID on him when he fell. Linen…something something, that’s was Dwayne texted me – but still the security dude couldn’t find him – I was so fucking confused. Why was I here? Was Eli here? Was this a horrible joke? I couldn’t feel my feet on the floor – it was as if I was floating around in space, and in a completely different state of being.

ENTER HOBIT LADY:

Merry? I turned my head toward that never-ending revolving door. A comforting voice said my name as if she were my best friend, but it came from a woman I’d never met her. It soothed a part of my soul in this unfamiliar atmosphere. She emerged through the vestibule like she knew exactly what she was doing and where she was going. Seemed odd because I had no idea what I was supposed to do or where I was supposed to go. She quickly flashed a badge, grabbed my arm briskly, and said in a definitive tone, “she’s with me.” The security officer held up his hand seemingly confused, as if he could stop us. She felt fierce to me. Something I needed at that moment in time. She flashed her badge again and led me through another set of double doors. I felt her fingers grasp my arm as we entered the cold elevator; little did I know I’d enter that damn elevator a million more times. I had no idea where we were going, I had no choice. It appeared to be a maze. There were elevators, skinny hallways, more elevators and I was confused – not in a normal state of mind. Where was my husband ? Was he in the car, in a parking lot? Covid wouldn’t let us both be together with our son – in the fucking ICU.

INSERT THE FIRST TIME WE SAW ELI IN THE ICU AND THE NIGHT E WOKE UP – AFTER DIVING

Still to raw to put into words. Will add soon.

Sunday, March 21, 2021 – A Miracle Is Happening!

Dwayne’s day to go the hospital. First text update was that Eli had gone for his normal rounds of testing, so Dwayne only got to see him passing in the hall. At 11:50am, Dwayne’s next text literally was, “they cut off his sedation and took his breathing tube. He is doing great! Talking and complaining…” What?? We had only been at Hennepin County Medical Center for about 30 hours and my boy was awake and alert!!  I couldn’t believe it. I think I called Dwayne or facetimed him immediately, but all I heard was moaning, so I had to hang up. I couldn’t listen to my son sound like that. I texted my husband, a few times (more than a few, but who’s counting). All I got in response was, “just hold on.” “I can’t,” was my reply.

I waited, impatiently. I needed to hear more, more about my 20-year-old son while I sat in a hotel room in a state that we don’t even live in. Didn’t seem to bother me that I was alone. My son was breathing on his own and talking, even complaining! Eli, complain? Ha, ha! I texted close family and friends as fast as I could to let them know the good news. A few more text exchanges, then Dwayne asked me, “What are you up to?” I explained that I had just got off the phone with my Mom (meant his mom because my Mom is in heaven…). I had been answering texts and talking on the phone in-between crying and shaking hysterically. Only my husband would respond like this, “Sounds like a fun day!” Made me laugh, a little anyway. That bit of relief and the huge glimmer of hope about his trach tube was sorely needed to begin Eli’s miracle journey to FULL recovery.

The next text was one I will never forget. Eli, for obvious reasons, was groggy, exhausted and fell in and out of sleep. He had woke up for a few seconds and asked for “agua”! Eli’s a Spanish minor and I guess it was paying off! These tiny flickers of light are what held us up during the absolute worst days of our life. With that tiny flicker in my heart, I knew I could now contact more of Eli’s very, close friends. I dreaded it, but knew I had to do it. I cried with them. They sounded scared. I was scared too, but hearing their voices gave me a comfort that I didn’t expect. A comfort that reinforced my soul that our Eli would pull through.

Visiting hours are until 8pm, so Dwayne wouldn’t be back for a bit yet. I couldn’t sleep or do much of anything else. Our restaurant was closed on Sundays, so I walked across the street just to get out of the hotel. Sitting by myself in a quiet hotel restaurant/bar, I ordered a glass of wine to calm my nerves from the bartender. His name was Thomas. As I clung to my phone for any new updates about Eli, I teared up and I’m sure I looked rather distressed. I stared at my expensive, oversized glass with the tiny amount of wine that was poured in it when Thomas came back over. He had seen the hospital badge on my vest and asked if I was ok. I was still in a state of shock I think, so he very nicely chatted with me for a few minutes. He bought me a second glass. His kindness calmed my soul.

Monday, March 22, 2021 – GO ELI GO!

I titled this one Go, Eli, Go, because oddly enough with many different texts floating around, several people responded after the good news yesterday with the same/similar verbiage: Go, Eli, Go! And Eli is going… in the right direction!

I arrived to HCMC that morning, walked toward his room in the ICU only to see him sitting up in his bed. “Huh? I’m pretty sure that was my initial thought. ” I stood still, stared at him for a second then watched him feed himself ice chips! My eyes immediately connected with his blue eyes, and plain-as-day Eli said: “Hi Mom!” Like nothing had happened and it was just another normal day. Rather astounded me.

It had only been two days since Eli fell and underwent a craniotomy. Yet he’s sitting up in bed, breathing on his own, talking – seemingly coherent – and moving all his limbs! Yes, my kid had brain surgery. Deep breath – hard to swallow that fact.

Although he was feeling well that morning as the day wore on, so did his body and mind. Spurts of energy happened like when I first saw him in the morning, and so did spurts of discomfort and pain throughout the day. Occupational Therapy and Speech/Language Pathology began to do their thing like assessing his swallow and testing his cognitive state. He tires easily, but it’s only been three days since his fall so that is certainly expected. Getting up into a chair was exhausting to say the least, then going for a walk, even more-so. I watched as it all unfolded in front of me, but my boy was capable of talking and walking; what more could I ask for. Go, Eli, Go, just keep going kiddo!

Tuesday, March 23, 2021 – The Words I’ve Been Longing to Hear!

Dwayne’s day to go. Nurse Susan called very early in the morning. I jumped up to answer (like I’ve been doing the past few days). I Immediately asked if Eli was ok. She reassured me he was, but that he was confused and a little upset. He was asking for me, his mom. Broke my heart in a thousand pieces. What kind of mom doesn’t stay with her son in the SICU all night… but I was not allowed to because of Covid. The nice nurse put me through to Eli, which seems to be out of the norm because it took awhile and a hang up or two. Then I heard his voice. I could tell he was upset. I explained again about the visiting hours being from 10am-8pm and that only one of us could be there per day, but reassured him that Dad was coming soon. He wanted to know exactly what time he’d be there. He calmed down a bit. He then asked why he was in England? I paused, looked at my husband lying next to me in our hotel room, took a deep breath and replied “well, you’re not in England”. In his plain-as-day voice, E asked, “then why do they all speak with accents?” No clue, was all I could think of as a response.

Sometimes we laugh, and that was one of those times. There did happen to be a nurse there last night with an accent (although I thought it was a Jamaican accent). Perhaps E thought it was an English accent, perhaps a staff member who told him they were from the UK, or perhaps my son, with a severe TBI, truly though he was in the UK?! All we could do at that point was to just go with it. I remember telling him, “yep, the nurse is probably from the UK” and our Eli quietly replied, “oh, ok” then hung up and fell asleep. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow no matter if it’s correct or not – doesn’t really matter if the result is to help your loved one feel safe and secure, eh?

Dwayne arrived at 10am. First report he gave me was that he was sleeping and had the Spanish channel on the tv. That’s our Eli! Dwayne gave a few typical reports throughout the morning like he’s uncomfortable, trying to sleep, muttering… But, then good reports starting coming like the fact that he asked to go the bathroom (sorry E) and went there with just a little help from his nurse and Dwayne – huge progress from just yesterday! Dwayne said he wasn’t interested in eating, but that they were going to make him a blizzard type of something and that he smiled 🙂 SLP came, and the report was good. He’s eating and drinking fine, just not hungry. He was still confused about where he was, but I’d say that’s pretty damn normal for his condition!

Then I got the words I’ve been longing to hear! Dwayne called and told me that the neurosurgeon was just there and told him that Eli was making AMAZING progress and that no-one usually progresses this fast!! Even said he’d probably be out of the SICU in a few days!!!! Holy Cow! We knew he was progressing faster than we expected, but this, this is the miracle we’ve been praying for. I got to facetime with him a few minutes ago, and he’s soooo much more alert than even yesterday! Speech is more fluent and he was smiling his beautiful smile that I’ve also been longing to see. Thank you God in Heaven and my favorite angels above for healing our Eli. Please continue to watch over his recovery, we know he still has a ways to go, but we are forever grateful for this amazing progress. I have no other words that I know how to express right now. Love to you all and to our Eli.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 24, 2021 – SLEEPY DAY

Today is a rainy, bleak day in Minneapolis and Eli is having a very sleepy day. But, that’s ok because he had surgery on his broken olecranon (funny bone) this morning. Surgeon called early morning to say it went really well! No problems coming out of anesthesia or with any of his other numbers that they watch (my main worry in having another surgery so soon). This should be the last surgery though!

Nurse Susan said not to rush to the hospital. I got there around 10:30 and he still wasn’t in his room. They shooed me away because there would be a lot of people going in and out of his room to get him settled in the SICU. So I sat in the cafeteria for another hour or so. I take advantage of that time to make phone calls that I don’t want him to hear – because he hears and understands everything we say so we have to be careful. I’m not complaining; that’s a wonderful thing! He works at Whole Foods here in Minneapolis, so I had to call and open a claim to put him on a leave of absence. It’s phone calls like that, that I’d rather he not hear so he doesn’t get upset.

It’s been a really quiet day for him, but given that he underwent another surgery that’s understandable. He’s actually sleeping more soundly than I’ve seen so far. He needs his rest to recover. So I’m sitting here watching my baby boy sleep on and off, even snoring a bit while I try to figure out this website/blog to journal to update all our family and friends. It’s a little confusing for those of us who are not millennials or younger – argh!

Speech came in and reiterated that his swallow is great – no issues that she sees (yay!!!). His diet is now regular food, although I’m pretty sure he did not like the chicken he was eating. He doesn’t have much of an appetite, but again given that he had surgery, it’s normal. PT and OT came after that. Got him up in a chair! No cognitive evaluations today or walking because he’s just pooped!

I saved the best for last, and it looks like the drain in his brain will most likely come out tomorrow!!!! That’s a huge thing because it’s the last hurdle to jump over in order to move out of SICU. Hooray!! It’s an EVD drain (external ventricular drain) that drains excess amounts of cerebral spinal fluid. Normally, our bodies absorb it (guess it’s about a coke-sized can per day we produce). If his ICP (intracranial pressure) numbers go to high he can’t get it removed. However, I had some prayer warriors praying this morning that his ICP numbers would stay low and not go over a certain number. Guess what? God is still listening, and his numbers have been great all day! Please pray it stays this way and he gets the drain removed tomorrow.

That’s all for today! I will write more tomorrow on my day off from the hospital and fill in the gaps of the first few days. Again, thank you for your support, prayers, and love. We are feeling it! Love to all of you!

View the autosave

CARDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT FOR ELI

If you’d like to send Eli a card of encouragement please send to his apartment in Minneapolis. His roommates will collect them for us. Eli Wurster, 1401 6th Street SE, #513 Minneapolis, MN 55414

BROTHERLY LOVE

This is just a request to keep our younger son, Jacob, in your prayers as well. Last night Eli asked where Jacob was. I told him he was at home in Illinois. Then the tears came. Eli said he missed his brother, that he was supposed to be the one watching out for his younger brother. That was a tough moment.

We just left Jacob, in the middle of the night. He’s only 15. I know he was scared, but he didn’t let it show. Jacob is a trooper and strong like his brother, but please say a little prayer to comfort him while we are away. Oddly enough, when Eli was six the situation was reversed. We had to leave Eli home alone for a month when we adopted Jacob from Ukraine. I think I’m done leaving each one for this long.

Jacob is not alone; Dwayne’s mom came over to stay with him the next day. His cousin, Matt, came over and stayed with him, took him to TopGolf and dinner. He finally got to go to TopGolf! Jasmine, another cousin, had him stay with her and her crew for a few nights, drove him back and forth to football practice and kept him busy with all her littles! He had fun playing football in the rain with his little cousins. My mother-in-law, Yvonne, returns today to stay with Jacob until, well, we don’t really know when. We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for taking care of our Jacob.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 24, CONTINUED – FAMILY TO THE RESCUE

Wednesday, after Eli’s surgery, as I mentioned above was quiet and pretty uneventful. Evenings, however, tend to be more difficult. Bodies get tired, the mind starts to wander, and darkness descends. That’s when Eli tends to get upset – mornings are hard too, but nights are worse. Memories from when my Mom suffered her stroke often creep into my mind; it’s as if I’ve done this before.

We aren’t allowed to stay after 8pm so Eli lays alone in his room, and that’s scary for any person in a hospital setting, let alone a 20-year-old.

I won’t lie, Wednesday night was rough. Eli’s waking up – Praise God – but, he’s more and more aware that something happened and that something is wrong. And that’s hard on my boy. The evening started with tears about his younger brother, but Cathy the nice, warm and fuzzy nurse, and myself, consoled him.

My boys are five years apart. Sometimes they have things in common, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they get along, sometimes they don’t. I’ve never really been sure that they even liked each other, until now. Eli asked me where Jacob was? He was confused and with quizzical eyes, Eli looked right at me and asked me where Jacob was. He legitamaly had no idea. He still wasn’t even oriented to where he was let alone where his little brother was. I explained that Jake was safe at home with Grandma Kolba. E looked away and pondered that for a moment, then the tears flowed. Another moment I’ll never forget as I heard Eli say “I never thought I’d miss him so much.” My boys have a bond – perhaps I don’t see that on a daily basis, but I can hold on to these moments and know that they will always have each other.

Nurse Cathy and I sat by Eli’s side until he fell asleep.

MY FAMILY:

Here’s where some of our family came to the rescue. One of my brothers and his wife drove to Minneapolis. My niece, Jas, had retrieved some belongings from our home as we left in a hurry and didn’t have time to pack a lot. Things like shoes other than the boots on my feet, emergency credit cards, and a variety of cold and warm clothes because it was March and you never know what kind of weather you may get… Curt and Debi rented an Airbnb about ten minutes from us. They didn’t ask, they just came to help us. After visiting hours, Dwayne picked me up and we headed to their Airbnb. I knew I’d break down once I saw them, but it was ok. I needed that. We had some wine and they prepared an awesome steak dinner for us! We talked, we laughed, we swore (I did anyway), and we cried. For Eli. Thank you both for being here. It’s a memory I wish we didn’t have to have, but it meant the world to Dwayne and I.

THURSDAY, MARCH 25, 2021 – OH, WHAT A DAY!

Dwayne’s day… God must have a way of knowing which day Eli’s Dad needs to be there because his days always land on the days that the horrible medical procedures have to be done. It constantly amazes me – because I know I can’t handle it, and Eli needs his Dad to be with him on those days, not me. That in itself was a miracle yet alone the fact that Eli had his EVD drain pulled today! No more brain tube in his head! Then, the Neurosurgeon cleared him to move out of the SICU into a regular room. It hasn’t even been a week and he’s cleared to leave the SICU!!! God is good!

Curt and Debi were still in Minneapolis so they picked me up and we toured the University area for a bit, showing them Eli’s first dorm, his current apartment and the Dinky Downtown area. We picked Dwayne up at the hospital and had lunch downtown at a pub in Minneapolis. Dwayne proceeded to tell us how he “helped the docs when taking the EVD drain out.” Uck, I can’t even think about that, but my husband, with a smile on his face, explained how he wiped the blood pouring down Eli’s face as the doctors pulled the drain out of his brain. Only my husband could do that, lol. We had a beer or two then they dropped Dwayne at the hospital and myself at the hotel to rest and nap. They met us later at our hotel for dinner and drinks. It was so incredibly awesome to have their warm friendly faces and warm hugs for a few days. The rest of this post is short and sweet because it’s the best news we could ask for… God is good! That’s all I got. That’s all I need. Love you all and God Bless you.

FRIDAY, MARCH 26, 2021 – RESCUE, RESTORE AND RECHARGE

Eli suffered a TBI from a fall. Your brain controls the entire body, so when you hurt your brain a whole lot of your body parts can encounter changes. Eli’s injury was on his frontal lobe. This lobe controls things like personality, emotional control, organization, memory, mood, speech and more. He had an epidural hematoma (brain bleed). This particular bleed is a collection of blood between the outer covering of the brain (dura) and the skull. According to one of the wonderful Neurosurgeons, if you’re going to have a brain bleed, it’s the best one to have! Thank God it wasn’t a subdural or intracerebral hematoma. Another miracle. It’s treated with surgery, which is the craniotomy that Eli had to remove the blood.

Not that you wanted to know all that, but I’m finally reading the resource book the hospital gave us about TBIs. I couldn’t bring myself to read it or even be able to focus enough to read it until now. I am now at a point where I am able to begin researching and learning how to help my son make a FULL recovery from this.

After a TBI or stroke, the brain begins restoring its cognitive function to compensate for the lost neurons. After it clears away any dead cells the neurons reroute information and take over the functions of the lost neurons. This is what E’s brain is doing now. Although he’s very cognitively aware, he’s had a major trauma and surgery. Everything he’s doing and every way he’s responding is normal. We’ve been told numerous times that he’s moving faster than many others who have suffered the same or similar brain trauma. He does get confused and says some “funny” things, but again, we are told that for what he has just been through, it is normal.

I’m no doctor; I’m just taking this information from the binder and googling. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong about any of the above. My brain is not functioning like normal as well. Dwayne picked me up to go for a bite to eat this afternoon. We stopped at Finnegan’s Brewery across from our hotel. I asked for a light beer (I don’t like dark) and the waitress suggested the “Rescue + Recharge.” Rather appropriate I thought, or perhaps I just looked like I need to be rescued and recharged lol!

So today, Friday, was my day here. PT had already been here in the morning; we can’t get here until 10am. They walked him around the whole unit (he’s on the Ped’s unit because they don’t have any other beds). He walked by himself, with a nurse right by his side, I’m told. Yay, E!!! Then the day was filled with OT, Speech, and Rehab. He managed to eat some lunch in-between and stayed awake most of the morning, which is great so he can try to sleep more at night. Rehab began talking about the next steps, so he’s moving right along!! It all depends on how he progresses with his therapies as to where and what type of therapy he will receive next. All-in-all, another good day for our Eli!

What I’d like to ask for during this next phase are prayers for Eli to be restored to his FULL cognitive function! If you have a little time, please pray for this cognitive aspect. I have FULL faith in our son and in God that he will be rescued, restored and recharged! Love you all, and bye, for now.

SATURDAY, MARCH 27, 2021 – PRETTY RESTFULL DAY!

Not much happening over the weekend. Most therapies are off, so Eli gets to rest up. Saturday was Dwayne’s day. Eli’s appetite is better now and we are allowed to bring him food from outside that he might like better than the hospital food. Dwayne said E stayed awake most of the day, talking, watching Gordon Ramsey’s cooking show, etc.

A few people have asked me what the other parent does while the other one stays with Eli. Sitting in the hotel by yourself seemed like such a scary thing at first. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how I was supposed to just sit there all day not knowing what was going on. Mornings were hard for me after Dwayne would leave. But then I’d get out my “to do” list on the little pad of paper from the hotel and get to work. Checking on Jacob, making a schedule of who he was staying with, who was taking him to practices and games, texting family and friends any update that I would get, and just making a list of things to do on Eli’s behalf kept me busy on my days “off” from the hospital. Busy is good, especially for a person with anxiety, like me. It kept me sane. We know that we need to take care of ourselves, so that we can take care of Eli. We have to. It’s interesting how when you have no choice, you just do… We make sure we eat. Good thing Minneapolis has a good amount of pubs near us as we usually take a lunch/early dinner break together. Although a lot of them are closed and boarded up. We’re not sure if it’s due to Covid, the George Floyd riots, or the upcoming trial which starts Monday, or all of the above. We managed to find a Rock Bottom Café Saturday, sampled some beers and snacked on appetizers watching Loyola lose ☹ It does feel good to get out and do something normal once a day; we know we need that, but I often tear up thinking about my Eli sitting alone in the hospital. Then I push out all the negative thoughts, breathe deeply, and force myself to focus on his FULL recovery. My often stoic, strong husband is always there to pick me up when I need it.

Dwayne walked to the hospital Saturday; we are staying only two blocks away. He stayed later than usual at night though. They are more lenient in the PICU. Which I’m thankful for as nights are harder for Eli. Dwayne stayed and talked with him, watched more cooking shows, and didn’t leave until E was feeling better. Eli has asked several times to call me during the night, so the nice nurses put a phone next to him. Sometimes he calls a few times, around midnight, 4am… I keep that phone charged and right by my bedside. Those calls are extremely hard to listen to, but we put our parent voices on and console Eli best we can. Only one call Saturday night though Then Eli fell asleep. And we try to fall back asleep. Tomorrow is a new day however, and we focus on that. Thank you prayer warriors! We love you all.

SUNDAY, MARCH 28, 2021 – SMILEY SUNDAY MORNING!

I walked into E’s room with the sausage, egg and cheese biscuit we brought for him, only to see his bright, smiley face sitting up in bed! Looking VERY alert and snickering with two people by his bedside. One was rebandaging his broken elbow, which I thought was odd. Apparently, Eli didn’t go to sleep after our phone conversation last night… he was busy unwrapping the bandage on his arm – took the whole thing off! He looked at me and laughed the laugh I love to hear. It’s not unnormal for patients on meds to wake up in the middle of the night, disoriented and uncomfortable, so not a big deal in my book.

We ate our breakfast together and talked about anything and everything. He looks so GOOD this morning; I’ve forgotten about the teary phone call the night before. I keep telling him how good he looks then he looked at me with his bright, blue-eyes and said, “this is the first day I’ve felt human in a while.” My Eli is coming back.

SUNDAY – PART TWO: THE UPS AND DOWNS

Along with “coming back” and healing, comes pain. Eli, our super-trooper, does not like to take the oxycodone with his Tylenol too often. Proud of him for that. Our morning included a little lesson in geography (he’s often confused about where he is at – more on that later) which led us to reminisce about all our family trips and the many school trips he’d been on. No PT today (Sunday), but the nurse helped him into a chair after lunch. His body is tired, so he got comfy and cozy. I grabbed my laptop and started writing as he dozed off peacefully. An hour or so later, I wiggled his toes to wake him. By his grimacing facial expressions, I could tell he was in pain. He complained about the back of his neck. Nurse S and I tried to get him to stand but bearing weight on his right leg wasn’t going to happen. He’d been walking the halls previously, but couldn’t even stand now? Eli was in a great amount of pain.

Turns out that it had probably been too long since his last round of pain meds. Together with the fact that he’d been sleeping in a chair, perhaps straining the muscles around his neck stemming from the pull to his immobilized right elbow explains a lot. Mom is relieved. It’s all good now; we got some meds in him, the pain reduced, and we got him back to bed and as comfortable as can be.

That morning/mid-day was awesome (the up part). Then the crippling pain returned (the down part). They’ve warned us over and over about the ups and downs. I knew that would happen, but how do you prepare for them? I have no “bleeping” clue. All I know right now, is that the “ups” are incredibly awesome… hope abounds, and you find yourself literally jumping for joy!! Then the damn “downs” come… fear, panic, and worry pretty much punch you in the gut.

I was prepared to leave this update on a “down”… but my Eli didn’t let me. We watched Shark Tank for a few hours, did stupid crossword puzzles (sorry mom – my mom in heaven loved those puzzles), and I pulled out yet another map of the world. His lovely nurse L came in and sat with us. We all chatted, asking Eli questions about where he’s lived, where he’s traveled, what colleges he toured to keep jogging his memory. It was fun, in a weird way.

So, I end this post happily with an “up” and leave you today with my favorite Bible verse:

Job 14:7

For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease.

Eli is that tender branch thereof right now. He is already sprouting and WILL grow back into that beautiful tree.

Thank you for your prayers for our whole family; we feel them.

MONDAY, MARCH 29, 2021 – ELI’S MOVIN’ ON!

I’m writing this on Tuesday (at least I think it’s Tuesday), and it’s a sunny, cold, and very windy day here in Minneapolis. I’m sitting in the restaurant of our hotel listening to the lyrics of a song repeat: “Movin’ On” over and over again. So, as I reflect on the events of yesterday, it was an overwhelming decision to title this one, “Movin’ On” because our Eli was moved to inpatient rehab Monday afternoon! On our way home from our usual late lunch break yesterday, nice nurse Katie told us that they had a bed available. Music to our ears! The best scenario that we were hoping for is that E would get into intensive therapy here quickly, and progress to a level where is able to go home, and that is happening folks!

Other than Eli’s therapies and moving to Knapp Rehabilitation Center (part of Hennepin County Medical Center), he’s doing fantastic physically, has some short-term memory and confusion yet, but again, we are told that’s normal right now. I’ll go more into detail about his therapies and some funny stories in another time. Those stories deserve their own post!

“Go, Eli, Go!” You’ve got this kid!

MONDAY CONTINUED, MARCH 29, 2021 – GEORGE FLOYD TRIAL

Eli’s doing so well that I thought I’d take a break and fill you in about what’s happening in Minneapolis right now, but I’m guessing you already know. The hospital and hotel we are staying at is five minutes away from the George Floyd trial. Yep, five minutes away. Minneapolis is a great city; it’s like Chicago, but tiny in comparison. The trial started Monday, March 30, an unusual 70-degree day in Minneapolis. Mid-day Monday, we were on our way to lunch with Siri directing us to our destination, and low and behold we drove right in front of the Hennepin Government Building where the trial is. Police and military presence were evident! New stations, cameras, and police are stationed at every corner. Interesting to say the least.

After lunch I dropped Dwayne back at Hennepin Hospital then drove back to the Normandy hotel, our home away from home for the past ten days. It’s safe to say I’m not the best at directions; in fact, I often get lost. Throw in all these stupid one-way streets and yep, a two-minute drive for me ends up lasting a whole lot longer!  The low gas sensor beeped again; I was in immediate need of gasoline, so I reached out to my new best-friend, Siri. She routed me to a gas station which seemed to be almost ten miles away – seriously? Finally, I found the gas station, inserted my card, but of course it didn’t like my card/zip code. Oh my God. I went inside, trying not to look like a scared, 50-something year old woman in a strange city. I pumped the gas, sat in the car, and made myself start the breathing techniques that I always taught my boys when they were upset. Feeling more at peace, I smiled as memories of when my mom and I often got lost together entered my mind (apparently, I got my sense of direction from her lol). I navigated my way back to the Normandy Hotel, hands clutching the wheel, being the anxiety-ridden and neurotic person that I am! My boys often laugh at me for this; I really missed the sound of laughter all three of my boys made when making fun of me. The light turned red, but I could see the red canopy of my hotel! I was kind-of grooving to a song that Eli likes (I’m finally able to do that) when a caravan of at least ten police cars drove right in front of me. My guess would be that they were transporting someone involved in the trial. “God, please just get me to my hotel”… and he did. The rest of my evening included some Cabernet.

TUESDAY, MARCH 30, 2021 – CRAZY TARGET TRIP (First full day at Knapp Rehab)

Dwayne and I switched days because he was going to Iowa on Wednesday to watch Jacob wrestle. My heart was so happy that he had his dad there to cheer him on!! So, on Tuesday morning, Dwayne walked to the hospital while I ran some errands. That day seems comical now, but it didn’t as it was unfolding.

The temperatures had dropped, down to the 30s, but at least it was sunny again; super windy thought! After checking my “To Do” list I headed to Target. For those of you who haven’t been in Minneapolis, there are no Walmarts here, only Targets. Target headquarters is in Minneapolis. I navigated my way around the damn one-way streets, only to find myself in front of the Government building where the trial is, again. Police cars and media still present. I parallel parked – sort of. Opened my car door on a street near the Target, and if you think Chicago has some wicked winds… oh my! I thought my car door was going to fly off!

First text update from Dwayne: “Eli is in good spirits!” He had one therapy session already and Speech was there currently. My heart fluttered with the good news as I shopped for small items for us, snacks and drinks for Jacob and Dwayne for the tournament, and a few things for Eli, like clothes! Yes, my 20-year-old needs clothes, not a hospital gown to walk around in! Then I realized he’d need socks and shoes also! We will grab some things from his apartment, but he needed something now.

My phone tweeted with more good text updates about Eli! He was walking with PT, without anyone holding on! OMG! I picked up my pace, got him some fancy Target gym shoes… then headed to electronics to get a portable charger for Jake. Simple. I got this. Shopping in other cities is usually fun, but I’m not a city-girl by any means, and with everything going on, I’d say I was a little out of sorts. I paid for the chargers in the electronic section then finished my shopping. After filling my cart, I wondered how the heck I was going to get my items to my car that was parked around the block? At least I think it was around the block… But, the nice check-out lady said that security would help me get it to the car. Cool! (That’s Dwayne’s word – must be rubbing off on me, omg). I reached for my wallet – couldn’t find it! Dumped my whole backpack out searching for it. I knew I had it recently. Panic pretty much set in. Have I mentioned that I have anxiety? It must have been noticeable because the check-out lady told me to take a deep breath. Funny, I teach deep breathing to my clients. I teach that to my kiddos. I need to do it myself. I did, and it helped.

Dwayne texted again wanting to know when I’d pick him up for lunch. Lunch? Screw that, I’ve got to find my wallet! We are not at home and have no idea when we will be going home, so it would be a BIG problem if I lost my wallet. Luckily, I recalled that I had been to electronics to get those darn chargers. Trying not to look like a crazy lady again, I speed-walked back to electronics. Phew! I had left it right on the counter, and I NEVER do that! I took the escalator up to lost and found to retrieve it. Going down the escalator, I waved like an idiot to the check-out lady, wallet in my hand. She smiled, opened up her lane and finished my purchase. Everything was there, money, credit cards, drivers’ license, etc. There are good people, everywhere.

It probably sounds like a stupid story to anyone else, but under our circumstances, it wasn’t stupid to me. I didn’t even mention that I got a little lost trying to find my car, ugh! I walked a few extra blocks, but finally got back to the Target where security helped load my items.

I met Dwayne at the hotel restaurant that night and he filled me in on how well Eli was doing. Somehow the stress of my crazy couple of days floated away. Nothing else matters in life except the ones you love.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31, 2021 – ELI’S ROCKING REHAB!

THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 2021 – APRIL FOOLS DAY

FRIDAY, APRIL 2, 2021 – JUST A GREAT UPDATE!

I’m way behind here, as it’s been a busy few days while Dwayne was in Iowa with Jacob, but I want you all to know that Eli is doing absolutely fantastic! Every day he makes significant gains. No, change that… tremendous gains! So many more things to write about these past few days that it will take me some time to put it into words.

Short and sweet post tonight: Eli’s Speech Pathologist told us the other day that he’s exceeding her expectations with his daily progress. Her words literally were, “Eli, you are blowing my mind!” OT’s test improved significantly form the previous one. It includes tests like, “Eli, start from 100 then subtract 7; then subtract another 7; then keep going… She stopped him at a certain point, and said, “you don’t have to keep going, that’s good enough.” And math is his worst (and most hated) subject! PT doesn’t even know what to do with him anymore because he’s scoring at the top of their assessments! I’ll fill in more details in the days to come, but you get the picture. It’s still a road we have to travel, but Eli is going to make a FULL recovery!

I know we’ve asked for a lot of prayers, and you’ve all come through. It’s been overwhelming and a beautiful thing that you’ve all done for us. Thank you doesn’t suffice. God Bless You All!

SUNDAY, APRIL 4, 2021 – HAPPY EASTER!

We hope you all had a wonderful Easter Sunday. Ours, albeit different from any other, was a blessed one! It was sunny and 77 degrees in Minneapolis. Eli’s in-patient roommate had told us that he went out for a long walk the day before… we had no idea we could even take him outside! So, I met Dwayne and Eli at a park, near the hospital. I found my way to a Starbucks – didn’t even get lost this time 😊

The warm sunny day seemed to put a little pep in everyone’s step, and the Easter spirit could be felt. I held the door open for the mom and adult son behind me; the young son was so polite, thanked me and even wished me a Happy Easter! Glad he did because I’d almost forgot it was Easter. Then the even nicer Starbuck dude helped me figure out what to order. Whenever E and I go to Starbuck’s I make him order – it’s just too confusing for us “old folk” ha, ha. I think I ordered E his favorite caramel macchiato…hope it had vanilla because that’s what he asked for. I ordered two more iced coffees feeling kinda stupid, but the Starbuck dude was so helpful it didn’t matter. I distinctly remember him saying that Mary was his favorite name because it’s his mom’s name. Then he said he loved his mom. Just good vibes all around! Anyway, I waited at the park for my guys to meet me. I couldn’t wait to see my E walking down the road. Simple thing we all take for granted, eh?

I spotted Eli, one arm wrapped from shoulder to fingers, mask on, and casually walking down the street with his dad. Happy mom moment! Then I called Dwayne to let him know I could see them and told him to be sure to help Eli across the street. Yes, the mom in me was petrified of him tripping or something. Apparently, that’s only a mom thing. So, the three of us sat, watching kids play basketball, while others threw frisbees, enjoying our Starbucks and soaking in the sunshine. We missed being with Jacob so much, but I assured him we’d have an Easter “re-do” when we got home, just the four of us.

A wonderful friend/client of mine reminded me that Easter was about rebirth. Yes, indeed it is! Hope you all had as blessed an Easter as we did.

MONDAY, APRIL 5, 2021 – STAPLES, STITCHES, and TIME SPENT WITH FRIENDS!

Needless to say, Dwayne went that day. Once again, he stayed in the room while they took the staples and stiches out. Made me queasy just thinking about it! A nurse took them out, guess it was easy-peasy? I made Dwayne send me a picture. E’s head looked a lot better! It’s a scar; it will heal, and his blonde hair is already growing back.

I forgot to tell you this: shout out to his little brother, Jake! He desperately needed a haircut before his wrestling tournament, so my good neighbor-friend took him to Great Clips. Our Jakie decided on his own, to buzz his head also. Tear-jerker of a moment for any parent.

Not much to say about Eli’s recovery at this point. Nothing happens on the rehab side during the weekend, so we knew we’d just have to wait. Wait to tell us when we could bring Eli home. We knew he’d have all his therapies again on Monday to be re-evaluated in hopes of going home soon.

Luckily, God gave us another beautiful sunny, warm day here on Monday! It actually hit 80! I thought it would be a great day to have Eli see some of his friends from the U. I had been in touch with one of Eli’s roommate’s moms since E entered the hospital and I knew she was driving here to pick up her son for their spring break. They were gracious enough to drive to the hospital to see Eli before they left for home. I’ve only met this this woman a few times, but a mom is a mom, and I’m so thankful they came to see us, even for 15 minutes. Eli is very appreciative for that, I know. Thank you both.

I’d also been in touch with Eli’s Fraternity Brother’s the whole time as well. Most, if not all of them headed home for their spring break, but one kindly met us at the park (walked 30 minutes from the U). They sat and talked for quite a while. Being the mom I am, I knew he needed a hat on his head as the staples had just come out. Here’s where Covid came in handy! I had bought a few extra masks (part of an impromptu Easter basked for Eli) and I looped it on one ear, right across his scar, to the other ear! It fit perfectly! No one cared. Who the hell cares anymore what we look like or what people think. It just doesn’t matter; just that you are healthy, happy and loved.

It was soooo good for Eli to see a few friends and to relax in the Minnesota sunshine. Another fantastic day toward his FULL recovery. Love and miss you all!

TUESDAY, APRIL 6, 2021 – Go, Eli, Go… HOME!!!!

I’m thrilled to post that Eli has been cleared to go home back to Illinois with us!! We are scheduled to leave this Thursday. He does have some appointments that morning, including Ortho to evaluate if they will recast his elbow here or if we should do that at home, so we don’t know exactly what time on Thursday we will be able to leave or if it gets pushed to Friday.

We have so many more people to thank including my Prayer Warriors from around the world and the phenomenal staff at HCMC, but we just wanted you all to know that Eli’s coming home this week!!! Love and hugs to you all. God is good!

THURSDAY, APRIL 8, 2021 – HOME SWEET HOME!

Most of you know that we made it home safe and sound. We left Minnesota last Thursday and are settling in just fine! Tired, but fine. It was the best feeling in the world to have all four of us under one roof, along with Izzy our 15-year-old lab and Louie our cat. When we left three weeks ago, it was cold, dreary, and dismal. We arrived home to see bright green leaves on the trees, perennials budding, and the smell of spring in the air. To me, the timing is pretty darn amazing considering that spring is the season of regeneration and new beginnings.

It seemed as if our time with Eli at the hospital in Minnesota stood still, like we were in our own cocoon. Coming home to buds blooming and grass growing really hit me. This season of awakening, renewal and growth is something we will always appreciate with a new understanding.  

So, just as spring has arrived, time moves forward… Jacob has returned to in-person school five days a week and multiple sports, Dwayne is back to work, and I will ease back into work as Eli and I embark on a month of doctor appointments and therapies, navigating his college coursework, and returning to his responsibilities with his associations and his fraternity. While we are waiting to get him into outpatient therapies, we started our own “physical therapy” sessions at home, with me! Eli has been very agreeable to this as he knows he needs to build strength, increase his balance (although inpatient PT said his balance was great), and to just keep his body and mind moving.  

We will return to Minnesota in early May for a round of follow-ups with all his docs and therapists, but until then he will rehab here so he can return to college with “all cylinders firing” as his primary rehab Doctor Ben liked to put it.

Happy Spring Everyone!

Thursday, April 8th, continued! – MY TWINSIES

Covid hair had got the best of both my boys this past year, but Eli didn’t have a choice in getting rid of it in the hospital! They shaved his long-ish blonde hair, which he was actually proud of growing, lol! Jacob’s hair was his usual curly mess at that point. The tender side of this, however, is that Jacob really wanted his hair cut before his wrestling tournament which was shortly approaching. I had asked my neighbor if she could help get Jacob get his hair cut as we were still in Minnesota. Jacob, on his own, decided to shave his head to look like his big brothers. Teary moment. They don’t always get along; they are five years apart, and are so very, very different human beings, but I’ve witnessed a love from both of them toward each other that I never thought I’d see. If only for a moment… but I’ll take it. My boys, are truly brothers.

Thursday, April 8th, 2021 – FLOWERS, FRIENDS, BAD BUNNY AND MORE!

Friday, April 9th, 2021 – MUSIC TO MY EARS, LITERALLY!

Monday, April 12, 2021 – PT with Mom

Sunday, April 25th – FIRST TWO WEEKS HOME AND OUTPATIENT THERAPY

It’s been a while since I’ve had the time to post as we’ve been busy adjusting. The first few nights we were home we spent getting organized which included things like making sure Eli took his meds twice daily, blocking the stairs in case he got disoriented at night (more a mom thing… he doesn’t even need it now) catching up with Jacob and getting him where he needed to be, and basically returning to our new “normal” life… as if Covid-Life wasn’t normal enough! The first week his wonderful friends, who are also his family, came by to visit little by little – can’t express how awesome they have been!

Eli is 20, so it was a challenge finding therapy, (speech therapy in particular) that wasn’t geared toward pediatrics. Took me a week of calling, leaving messages, and calling back to finally find a wonderful facility in Crystal Lake. After calling several facilities, I knew immediately that the Neuro Center (part of Northwestern Medicine) was the right place! It was like inpatient at HCMC, but outpatient. Outstanding therapists, an extremely thorough case manager, and a very understanding staff are all an integral part in Eli’s recovery. The first week was a really long week so we rested and slept, a whole lot!

Second week rolled around, and we all seemed to perk up. Eli started with speech therapy three times that week. I was very happy to know that he would also receive PT and OT the following week. The therapy schedule just depends on availability of the therapists, so I tried to squeeze in some of my clients to get back to work. It was so great to see some of my co-workers and to teach at least a few of my dear clients and friends. Doing something normal for yourself goes a very, long way. Thankful doesn’t describe the feelings I feel when I’m home at night knowing that all four of us are safe.

Within just one week of speech therapy, we have clarity and a plan to restore his cognitive function to his FULL potential. It’s so incredibly interesting how the brain works. Eli and I are amazed at the wealth of information and knowledge his speech therapist has. He’s in the right place, I have no doubt! Eli is also aware that he has some cognitive “deficits,” which per his therapist, is a great thing that Eli is aware that he has these deficits. It’s hard to go more in depth regarding all that the cognitive testing and therapy reveals (I don’t get it all, but I try lol). The gist of it is: his intellect is there (we knew that though), he tests above average on some things and below average on some things, he has some word-finding issues (just wait until he’s my age), and he slows down when his brain is overloaded so that he can be accurate. However, this is our Eli! Even prior to this accident, he would have done the same thing – he’d rather slow down and be correct than fly through it and be wrong. Oh my, how I have two different boys 😉

Therapy will pin-point his deficits and force his mind to re-train itself. I’m so excited to watch his continued improvement. Just so you know, if you haven’t seen or heard him since his fall a month ago, you wouldn’t necessarily know anything happened except for the small brace on his wrist, his buzz cut, and the scar on his head which is healing nicely! His speech is fluent, he engages in conversation, he is still a bit sarcastic (ha, ha), and he is still our Eli!

God Bless You All!

Saturday, May 8, 2021 – PRODUCTIVE FIVE DAYS IN MANY WAYS!

Last Monday, May 3, Eli and I headed back to Minnesota for several follow-up appointments. I guess I dropped the ball and didn’t make some of the appointments that I was supposed to – ugh! A lot was thrown at us upon discharge from HCMC, and we were just so happy to go home back in April that I didn’t read through all the information they gave us. My bad. It turned out ok though; Ortho x-rays and follow-up were already scheduled; I spent some time making calls to arrange a Physical Medicine and Rehab eval, and as luck would have it, I was able to confirm a 4–6-hour Neuropsychology Evaluation due to a last minute cancellation. We stayed a bit longer than planned, but it was a productive stay in many ways.

We arrived in Minneapolis after our usual five-and-a-half-hour time frame despite driving through a few downpours. I tend to get a little nervous driving (what’s new there) so I’m glad that Eli slept through most of the rainy parts. In the past we’ve hit black ice and snowstorms, but for some reason I really hate driving in heavy rain. I clutched the wheel and prayed then belted out my favorite songs… huh, that’s probably the reason he slept! The rain subsided, Eli woke up, and we chatted about normal stuff, when his appointments were, what days, times, etc. Signs for Eau Claire passed by (it’s always a happy thing when we see those signs as we know we are getting close). This time it was bitter-sweet though. Eli knew he was only here for a few days. He’s itching, in a very bad way, to get back to his normal life at the U. Soon, very soon, my son.

In the past three weeks since he’s been home, Eli has continued to progress at an amazing rate. Along with his outpatient therapy during the week, he started catching up with the associations he’s part of and the responsibilities he holds at the U, via Zoom (thankful for one thing that came out of Covid and that would be staying connected through Zoom calls!). We’d been in touch with his academic advisor the whole time as Eli was very concerned about his academics and how the rest of this semester would play out. The University of Minnesota has been wonderful and extremely flexible with regards to his coursework. They will allow him to take an incomplete and finish up this semester at his own pace, finishing within a certain time frame – huge relief to us! Eli has already finished one class and we are extremely optimistic that he will finish by the end of the summer so he can resume classes in the fall.  

Upon arrival at the U, Eli wanted to attend an in-person meeting that night. He was excited to be able to lead his chapter meeting in-person and see his fraternity brothers for the first time since his hospitalization. So I dropped him off at his apartment in Dinky Town (a cute little college area lined with ethnic restaurants, coffee shops, even a small Target). I like to stay at the Graduate Hotel when I’m there which is just minutes away from his apartment. I knew he’d be fine, but it didn’t make the worry go away, and I’m pretty sure it never will.

Driving to my hotel, I smiled at the maroon and gold pansies that lined the streets, the students sporting their Gopher colors, and the U of M signs proudly displayed. It felt good to be there. If it felt good for me, Eli must be elated to be back! He texted after his meeting and told me how good it felt to be walking around campus again. I knew he wanted to stay at his apartment that night. Not sure why? What 20-year-old young man wouldn’t want to stay in a hotel room with his mother lol! I could hear how happy he was to hang with his roommates and to have some independence again, so we decided it would be fine for him to sleep in his own college bed and to be in his “home”.  My heart was happy for him. And yes, I texted his roommates to check on him – only once though! I think they all had a good laugh about that! They are great guys and great friends to my son; I’m very thankful for them.

All of his appointments went well. Ortho doc said fractures were all healing nicely and kept saying how good Eli looked! She had seen him from the get-go, so it was very nice to have that connection. P,M & Rehab Doc (works with Eli’s main Rehab doc (Dr. Ben) from In-Patient Rehab) did a physical exam and commented that he’s doing “extremely well”. Yay! We knew that, but I can’t explain how good it feels to hear docs tell you that. Then Eli had to sit through about a five-hour Neuropsychology testing session – yikes! She did many of the same exercises his SLP does here in Illinois, just a much longer duration. He was pretty darn tired after that. We will get feedback from her in two weeks, but we don’t expect any issues.

SALLY’S:

Across the street from the Graduate is a restaurant/bar named Sally’s. Since it was close-by I ate there a few times, but on Thursday when I arrived around 3:30pm, I was one of four people in the whole restaurant. While I sat sipping my Cabernet from a tiny plastic cup, I watched students walking the streets, this way and that, looking generally happy. The bar began to fill, chatter grew, and the sounds of laughter surrounded me as they celebrated… ah, it was finals week!

Not for my Eli though. Although we’re thrilled that he will be able to finish this semester, it’s not how he wanted his sophomore year to go, especially after Covid cut his freshman year short. I’m sad for my kiddo. All he’s ever wanted to do was go to college, live an independent life and do well academically.

A group of young men sat down by the bar, some in casual clothes, some in scrubs. I noticed the iconic M on their scrubs; residents, I’m guessing. Someday that will be Eli – smiling and laughing with his friends, walking the campus on a sunny 60-degree sunny day, feeling awesome that he rocked his finals! Although his first two years hadn’t gone as planned, we learn from it what we can and realize that things don’t always go as we plan. So, we regroup, rethink our plans, rearrange our current schedules, dig deep into our souls and learn to deal with the deck of cards that has been dealt to us. This, my son will make you stronger in the long run. Hard to see now, I know, but it will, I promise.

I closed my laptop, looked behind me to see the bar completely packed! It was around 5pm now and I appeared to be one of what seemed like hundreds of college kids! Feeling just a little out of place, I quickly paid my bill and made my way outside and through the line to get in. Pretty sure I stood out like a sore thumb, but oh well!

I walked back to my room, got my laptop back out and poured one more glass of wine. I had been away from Jacob again for a few days, so I was excited to be able to watch him wrestle via the livestream that night. Alone in my room, I very loudly cheered him and his teammates on that evening!  I knew Eli was tired from his long day of testing and I knew Jacob would be tired from wrestling his heart out, so I slept pretty soundly our last night there.

All in all, it was very productive in the fact that we were able to squeeze these appointments in and get glowing reviews from the docs. These five days also allowed me the opportunity to gain confidence in knowing that Eli will be alright when he returns to his independent college life. Not that I am ready for that just yet though! 😊